I think I'm slowly turning into someone (too) easily satisfied with life.

I used to think carefully before every decision, rejected doing things that seem to be meaningless, used to hate small talks, only considered those whom i can connect perfectly well with my friends, or somewhere along the lines of that. That made me feel better than others in the sense that I wasn't simply 'floating' on earth (like I probably am now), but I was sad all the time. So I started to erase lot of my expectations and told myself 'whatever will be, will be'. I guess I might've taken the phrase the wrong way, because it ended up as 'don't put so much thought into things, just let things happen and accept it', which shouldn't be the case because it simply means I don't have a goal or a brain right now. I don't feel like I'm in control of anything, I just feel okay and generally happy about everything - or at least i try to make myself forget and move on whenever things upset me. I'm not reflecting enough, not doing enough with my life. This has to change. (Or does it? Why do we need so much meaning in our life?)

I really shouldn't question every single bloody thing.
Things have to change.